Today, 2nd July, is the funeral of my father-in-law, Jim McDowell.

Jim was born in 1927.
At the time, his father was serving as an elected senator in the first Northern Ireland Parliament.
Two years before Jim was born, his father had remarried after his first wife died.
Two years after Jim was born his father died, aged 68 – leaving Jim without a father, and Jim’s mother, a young widow, to go out to work to fend for herself.

While his mother was out at work, young Jim would come home from school, let himself into the house, and climb up onto the table to light the kerosene lamp.
In his teenage years, he and his mother would take shelter under that table from the bombs dropped on Belfast during the War.

Jim left school in his early teens, first to work in the linen mills; then to work in the power station as an electrician’s apprentice. Then with Harland & Wolff in the shipyard.
Meanwhile his mother remarried.

Marriage and Family

Jim met Elizabeth King (“Lily”) at church and they married in 1950. Subsequently their daughter Eileen was born, then a son Colin, then another daughter Linda.
Though he grew up without a father as a role model Jim was devoted to his family, and spent a lot of time with his family.

Eileen: He truly was one of the very best dads, who loved his family and cared about those around him.
He was an involved and present dad while I was growing up. He was a fun dad. I have many happy memories of my childhood in Ireland doing things with my dad. We played backyard cricket, went to cricket matches, went for hikes up the mountain behind our house, where he pointed out craters left there from the bombing raids in WW2. We watched wrestling matches on TV and practised the different holds, like the half nelson. We went to the pictures (movies), though some of the movies I saw gave me nightmares. We played chess, and draughts and cards. He never just let me win. I don’t think I ever beat him though I always wanted to.
He always treated me with respect. I always felt loved. He was always a gentleman. When we arrived home from somewhere he would get out his keys, open the front door and step back for me to enter first.

Education

Despite his limited secondary education, he put himself through an electrical engineering course at the Tech – this was typical of the initiative he showed in so many areas of life. As a result, he got a job with Shorts, the Belfast aerospace company.

Linda: Dad was very clever. He had a very good general knowledge of the world and history. I used to say to him “You learned more and remember more from school than I do, even though you left school at 14, 80 years ago.”

Eileen: My dad had a lot of ingenuity. He was a handyman about the house. He figured out how to do things himself. I think he was used to fending for himself. He was independent. If he wanted to do renovations he would go and study how it was done somewhere else and then come home and do it himself.

Alison (Jim’s granddaughter): He didn’t manage to teach me to appreciate his music but he was instrumental in shaping my understanding of both cricket and chess. He also features in many happy memories of Christmas mornings. There’s no doubt that Grandpa taught me some essential life skills but most importantly, he was to me, that ever faithful example of godly generosity and kindness. In our messed up, often broken world, I am increasingly grateful for the series of godly examples that I have been blessed to have shaping my life. I feel very blessed that I got to call him Grandpa for so many years.

A New Beginning

In 1965, in order to give his children better opportunities in life, he brought his family to Australia.
With his background and experience with Shorts, he obtained a job with Qantas, maintaining and operating their flight simulators – again, a testimony to the way the Lord blessed his determination.

But the greatest blessing of all was to come – as one after another: Eileen, Colin and Linda began attending church, and came to saving faith in Jesus Christ.
Jim and Lily had attended church in Ireland, but not after he came to Australia.
Lily was almost certainly already a Christian; but Jim, although a loving husband and gentle father, had not found a personal faith in Christ. For many years his children prayed for him, and soon he started attending church – till one day, sitting under the Word of God, he came to a living faith.
The first thing he did was to tell his children (now grown up) – much to their joy. From then on the family shared their joy in the Lord together.

Karen (Jim’s granddaughter): God has been very merciful to our family, giving faith to Mum, Linda and Colin, then both their parents, and many other family members. I’m glad that God was with Grandpa, helping him endure to the end. “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Tragedy

Tragedy struck through the death of his beloved Lily 29 years ago – she had not been well for many years, and he had retired early to look after her.

Linda: My Dad was completely devoted to my Mum, Lily. He cared for her through much ill health and retired early to spend time with her. He was pretty lost when Mum passed away 29 years ago, but God sustained him.

Eileen: One of the things I admired most about my dad was that he was always truly devoted to my mum. He was a faithful and loyal husband. They were inseparable. Dad retired early to care for mum because she was unwell for many years before she died. He forfeited many adventures and there were many things he wouldn’t do because mum couldn’t do them. He was devastated when she died and I thought he wouldn’t live long without her, but by God’s grace he lived almost 30 years managing on his own.

Then came the sudden and unexpected death of his son Colin 14 years ago – Colin was the opposite of his mother: fighting fit and in the prime of life; his death came as a great shock to everyone especially Colin’s dear wife, Angela.
But through it all, and in the long lonely years since, Jim bore it graciously and patiently.

Eileen: Over those years the Lord really grew him in godliness, contentment and patience.

Growing in grace

His progress, growing in the grace of God over the years was evident in a number of areas in his life.
Let me refer to just a few:

1. Generosity

Eileen remembers: As a family we went on many outings and my dad always loved planning holidays and adventures. He even took us on holidays to Fiji and the Gold Coast after we had our own families. He often said “Money spent on holidays is money well spent” I have always agreed with that one (not sure my husband agrees 😊), but we had many happy times.

Linda: Dad treated the family to many lovely holidays especially in Fiji and Rainbow Bay, Coolangatta. Even when he was an aged pensioner he put money in cards for birthdays and wanted to give money for everyone to have a Christmas present.

Karen: Every coffee or meal out would end with a family tradition of trying to stop Grandpa paying for everyone. I remember, only a few years ago, sneaking away from a family picnic when Grandpa was distracted, to buy some fish and chips to share, thinking not only did he not know what I was up to but also the shop was up a steep hill so he wouldn’t be able to follow me. And then getting the fright of my life when I was standing in line to order and realised he was right behind me! 

Simon (Jim’s grandson): My grandpa was a quiet, gentle sort of guy. He was an example of patience, contentedness and humility. I appreciated his contemplative personality, and his keenness for nerdy interests like chess, computers and flight simulators. Some of these things I’ve developed an appreciation for myself. I will always have fond memories of stays at his place – backyard cricket, beach trips just down the road and waking up on Christmas day, excited to open presents and (more importantly) spend the day with family. We can be confident that he knew whom he believed, and that He will guard what has been entrusted to Him until that Day. 

2. Honesty

Linda: You usually knew what he thought and what he liked and didn’t like. He wasn’t a flatterer. He was pretty good at holding his tongue but if you asked for his opinion you would get an honest one. I remember when one of the granddaughters asked if he liked her braided hair. His reply was, “No I do not indeed!”

Karen: Grandpa was knowledgeable about a lot of things, from music and operas, to cricket, to computer systems, to government policies, and he had firm opinions that were not swayed by popular opinion. He knew what he believed and why.

Eileen: I valued my dad’s opinions. His opinion always mattered to me, even if I didn’t always agree with him, his opinion mattered. He was knowledgeable. He often had clear logical, definite opinions, and often liked a good argument, especially about politics, with his children, especially Colin, and grandchildren.

 3. Constant

Linda: My Dad has always been a great constant and source of encouragement in my life. He was always there, always available and always loving.
Dad was a great constant in my life. He lived in the same house in Cronulla for 54 years. He was always happy for me to visit or call. He used to come to our place for dinner every Wednesday night even climbing the two and a half flights of stairs until February this year. He used to say “As a rule I don’t like change”.

4. Content

Karen: He didn’t have, or need, a huge social circle, but was faithful and interested in his family and friends. He was content with his lot and I don’t think I ever heard him complain. Even with his poor health the last couple of years he would say “It’s alright, I can’t complain”. 

Alison: The last time I spoke to Grandpa, he was sick and in pain. As I was talking to him a nurse came in to give him his medication. I think if anyone had a right to be grumpy, short or selfish at that point, it was Grandpa but he wasn’t. He was so kind and grateful to the nurse. He thanked her like she had just done him the nicest act of service. But that wasn’t a surprise to me. That’s how I remember Grandpa. A kind, gentle, and generous man.

5. Caring

Eileen: It’s been so comforting to hear so many friends and family describe my dad as a lovely man. He was really quite shy and unassuming.

Linda: Most people think of Dad as quiet and shy. He used to say about himself “I’m not very social”. He often politely declined invitations to go places and do things but he did love spending time with family. He was always hospitable when people came to visit him and was very keen to share chocolate biscuits and coffee. He appreciated pastoral visits from Bob, Kirk, Kevin and Matt.

 

He kept up with what his 9 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren were up to and was very proud of their various achievements. He was thrilled to hear last week that he has another great grandchild on the way. I found a calendar in his wardrobe from 2018, where he had written in the birthdays of all the family, wedding anniversaries and ages of his grandchildren and great grandchildren. He cared about his church family and wider connections as well. He often mentioned people he knew who were unwell such as David Kennelly, Frank Dorn, Frank and Ruth Stoffels and many others. I know he prayed for them.

6. Longsuffering

His last few years were difficult.

Eileen: He bore his last years of ill health so bravely and patiently. I am so thankful to the Lord for the grace he gave dad to cope with increasing dependence on others, and with so much of his strength and dignity being taken away from him. I am so thankful to the Lord for the lack of pain in his last days and for taking him safely to glory where he sees his Saviour face to face and where every tear is wiped away. 

Linda: He struggled with poor health but he bore it very patiently. He was very thankful for the care he got from his oncologist, Dr Ramya. Her surname was too difficult to pronounce, so he always referred to her as “Dr Who”. He was also very thankful for the care that he received at Mildred Symons House, where he was for only the last 10 weeks. He amazed us by the way he was willing to join in on some of the activities and even go on a couple of bus trips. He made friends with the ladies at his dining table and said they looked after him.
When I sympathised with him about his weakness he used to say that there were others worse than him and a favourite saying was, “It’s just one of those things”.
Thankfully Dad was mentally with it right to the end. On the day he died, he patted my hand and comforted me saying “I’m alright dear”.

 Interlude

Eileen wanted me also to say this at the funeral:

I would like to publicly thank my little sister Linda, (though she has been bigger than me for quite a while) who cared for my dad so incredibly well while I lived so far away. She (and Kent) truly went above and beyond to care for him, to make him feel comfortable and loved. He was so well loved and cared for in his last days.

Singing in the Reign of God

Jim loved to sing and had a fine singing voice.
He hated bad singing (I always kept my voice low when singing near him).
Alison described him as: “A man shaped by his love for God, and his family and of course his opera music.”

Eileen: Dad was passionate about music. He had a beautiful tenor voice and sang in various choirs in Ireland, even sang a solo part in the Messiah, I think in the Royal Albert Hall in Belfast. He could be carried into ecstasy by a beautiful piece of music. He said it gave him goose bumps. You couldn’t have a conversation with him if he was listening to music. He was often singing or whistling about the house and just always had music in his head. He was very black and white about it, either he was ecstatic, or it gave him great pain if someone “ruined” a piece of music, or if someone sang off key, or it was “just noise”.

After he died, Jim’s granddaughter Julie wrote: “I was imagining grandpa singing praises in heaven today (while we weren’t singing because we’re not allowed to!). I’m sure he’s loving that! How much he must be enjoying perfect singing, particularly in praise to God”
She added: “…God, whom he can now see!

And, yes he can. He now beholds the face of God.
He never knew his father on earth; he now knows a much better Father, God the Father, in heaven.
In the words of Job, we listened to at the graveside  – words included in Handel’s “Messiah” that Jim loved to sing:

“I know that my Redeemer lives
“And He shall stand at the latter day, upon the earth.
“And though worms destroy this body – yet ” he confidently confesses, “in my flesh shall I see God: whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another.”

Jim now beholds the face of God.
And God – this God Himself – “wipes away all tears from his eyes.”
For there: “There is no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There no more pain.”
For Jim, “the former things are passed away.”

He has now entered fully into God’s covenant promise, that: “I will dwell with you, and you shall be My people, and I Myself shall be with you, and be your God.”

Praise God!