Elizabeth King (“Lily”) and Queen Elizabeth (“Lilibet”) were born just 4 days apart, back in 1926.
Elizabeth King died 30 years ago, just short of her 66th birthday; Queen Elizabeth was 96 when she died this week, 30 years later.

Queen Elizabeth was an extraordinary woman, perhaps the most famous person in the world, who by her example had an extraordinary influence (at least, in a formal sense) over the circumstances we and billions of others have lived through – though, because of the figure-head role she was assigned she had very little real or immediate influence over my own life.
Elizabeth King was a very ordinary woman – but she had an extraordinary and very real influence in my life, as well as in the lives of many others, especially my wife’s and her brother’s and sister’s: Elizabeth King was their mother.

Fred

I was reminded of all this, attending the funeral of my dear friend, Fred, this week. Fred and Queen Elizabeth died just 3 days apart.

Fred, like Elizabeth King, died young, at least younger than you would have expected or hoped for – leaving behind his lovely wife, Jenny, one of my own wife’s dearest friends. Our hearts go out to her as we mourn with her and her family, in her incalculable loss.
Like Elizabeth King, Fred was a very ordinary person – but one who, along with Jenny, had an extraordinary influence on Eileen’s and my life, and the lives of all who knew them.

I first met Fred more than 50 years ago, not long after he had been converted. He tells of his conversion in a booklet he wrote four years ago called “Awakened”:

“Around the time of my twentieth birthday I had a life changing experience. In the middle of the night when I had been sound asleep I was suddenly woken up by what I can only describe as God convicting me of my sin (disobedience to God’s laws). I didn’t have much of a conscience left, so suddenly feeling guilty because of all the things I was or was not doing at that time in my life was hard to understand. I loved my life at the time and was contented. I didn’t want to change, I didn’t want God. I certainly didn’t want to obey the Bible and yet here I was, wide awake feeling terribly guilty because of the way I was living.
“This made no sense to me: why was I feeling guilty, why was I troubled about a life style I enjoyed, why was I concerned about this thing called sin which I had learnt about as a child and had not thought about since?
“This conviction of sin was life changing. That very night I became a true believer. Not only did I suddenly believe in God, but I also hated my sin and I knew I would need to try to live by the standards of the Bible.
“What was so amazing was that I had NOT searched for God and yet that night God turned my life around. I became a Christian.”[1]

Having come to the Lord, he longed for the fellowship of fellow believers:

“I really found it hard living in a small country town where very few people understood my beliefs. So, in 1971 I moved to Sydney to live where I found work and a suitable church to attend.”[2]

At the time back then I was living in a small one bedroom/one living-kitchen-room flat in Cronulla with Paul Alcorn. There was barely room for the two of us, let alone swing a cat.
One day Paul turned up with Fred and said he had invited him to stay too – on the sofa. I looked at this big, hulking young fellow and thought I wouldn’t say “No”.
Yes, those were precious, even if chaotic, bachelor days.

Friendship

Later, after I was married, I was set apart to my first pastorate in Wollongong. Fred and Jenny were among the members there at the time, and they were such an encouragement to Eileen and me in those early years when I was still wet behind the ears.

Fred served as a deacon, and later an elder, in the church there. They continued to be very supportive of us when we went to Kenya as missionaries, and while we were back home on furlough.
They (along with other folk from our days in Wollongong) remind me a lot of Barnabas.

Later again, we were called away to serve the church in Brisbane in 1990. Though distance meant contact was then less frequent, yet whenever we did meet up, it was like we were just picking up where we left off.

Cancer

Then tragedy struck. Again Fred tells it:

“In December 1999 our world fell apart: I was diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma which was a terminal cancer. The days that followed were hard to handle for a guy who was scared of needles!”[3]

Fred and Jenny shared their concerns with us: Eileen had been treated for a similar cancer just a year or two before. We were all much in prayer.
Fred remembers:

“I went from an operation to many doses of chemotherapy and radiotherapy also Mab Thera treatment. Eventually we were told that the cancer was still spreading, which started another course of different chemotherapy treatments, more radiotherapy and more Mab Thera. All were unsuccessful.”[4]

Eventually, a new, radical treatment was discovered.
But it was far from a sure thing – the treatment itself was life-threatening:

“It was at this time of my transplant that God performed another miracle. I had been told by the doctor that I could die at any time during this procedure, but to my amazement I experienced incredible peace. I felt as if I was standing at the door of Heaven looking in, waiting to enter, wanting to enter, to be free of this illness, but at the same time I was looking back at my beloved wife and seeing her tears and the tears of my twelve-year-old daughter. This experience was not a time of wanting to die to get away from the discomfort of cancer, but rather it was a time of incredible peace, a joy of going to Heaven. And yet it was a tug-of-war, wanting on the one hand to go home to Heaven but at the same time seeing how badly my family needed me.”[5]

The Lord brought Fred and Jenny through this trial, and spared Fred to Jenny for more than another 20 years.

Death

But, for all of us: “It is appointed for men to die once…” (Heb 9:27)
And the time of Fred’s appointment came last week. He died of Mesothelioma, inherited from his early days in the building industry.

The last few years have seen the funerals of many dear friends. Some have lived to a ripe old age; but more than I was prepared for have died younger than me, younger than expected.
We will all die. We don’t know when: young? old?

And after death?
“…and after this the judgment.” (Heb 9:27)
We will all stand before the Judgment Seat of God – whether we die, young or old.
Are you ready for that?

Fred was, because his hope was in Christ:

“It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many!”

Those who hope in Christ have this Promise:

“To those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation.” (Heb 9:28)

Ordinary Friends

I thank God for Fred and Jenny: a more gentle, generous couple would be hard to find.

I thank God for all the ordinary friends He has brought into my life.
It is not academic achievements, social standing, or career success in those you know that refreshes the soul. Those who take delight in parading these things before you repel the soul.
No. Whether academic or not, socially prominent or not, “successful” or not,  it is not these things that refresh the soul, but ordinary friends faithfully going about their ordinary lives.

You see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called.
But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.
But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.” (1 Cor 1:26-31)

I thank God for ordinary friends.
Alistair Begg reminds us:

“God’s eternal plans unfold in the midst of the ordinary—ordinary people in ordinary places doing ordinary things. If you lead an ordinary life, this should encourage you! Very few of us will even be a footnote in history. Whether you are an ordinary mother raising ordinary kids doing ordinary things day in and day out, an ordinary grandpa telling the same old ordinary stories, or an ordinary student going about your ordinary routine homework and activities—whatever sort of ordinary you are—the glory of God can be found all around you. And your faithfulness in the midst of the ordinary may, by His grace, become the means of extraordinary impact for the sake of the gospel.
“When you are tempted to feel like you’re not doing much—to believe the devil’s lie that you cannot make a difference or are outside of God’s purposes—remember this: long after human achievement, words, and wisdom fade, the faithfulness, kindness, integrity, love, and gentleness that God works in and through you will be seen to have had a more dramatic impact on the lives of men and women than you could ever imagine. This is the wonder of Naomi’s story and the wonder of all of history—that God’s extraordinary glory is at work in the ordinary. That truth can change the way you feel about and go about your day.”[6]

Faithful Friends

I thank God for faithful friends.
The Psalmist in his day lamented the disappearance of loyalty among society – loyalty in relationships with God, as well as between men.

“Help, Lord, for the man of loyal love ceases! For the faithful disappear from among the sons of men.” (Psa 12:1)

Loyalty does not mean you always have to agree on everything (though I don’t recall anything Fred and I would have disagreed on); but it does mean you don’t give up on each other, even over many years of ups and downs.
(See further here)

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Prov 17:17)

Fred and Jenny have been faithful friends.
Fred was an ordinary man. But Fred was a brother who was always there.

But above all, I thank God Fred continually pointed to Christ.
He valued even his bout with Lymphoma as a wonderful opportunity to point others to the “Friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov 18:24)

“Before I got sick with cancer I prayed that God would give me more opportunities to tell others about this Jesus who had changed my life. As I have always been a shy, quite introverted person I found it hard to express myself, particularly when it came to telling others about my faith. But when I ended up with cancer and realised the peace that God was giving me throughout my illness, I soon found people asking me all sorts of questions about my faith.
“These questions led me to finding a voice I never knew I had and I was able to tell them of the hope I had through the Lord Jesus Christ. I was able to tell them that my worst scenario (which was to die) was also my best scenario (because I would end up in Heaven in perfect peace and happiness).”[7]

[1] Awakened p.8
[2] Awakened p.10
[3] Awakened p.13
[4] Awakened p.13
[5] Awakened p.16
[6] Alistair Begg Truth for Life: 365 Daily Devotionals November 4
[7] Awakened p.21