As a teenager, back in the days of our Youth Fellowship, we used to sing the then well-known chorus:

I have decided to follow Jesus; (3x)
no turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still will I follow; (3x)
no turning back, no turning back.

Ever since, those words have haunted me.
Haunted me, because I genuinely wonder: If none go with me, would I still follow?
If all the fellow believers I knew turned their back on Christ, said they had concluded it was all a myth, a hoax, would I really hold out?
If I woke up one morning, and I was the only Christian in Australia, in the world, would I still believe?
I hope I would.
But would I?

Peter thought he would.
He boldly told Jesus, “Lord, why can I not follow You now? I will lay down my life for Your sake.”
Jesus solemnly warned him, “Will you lay down your life for My sake? Most assuredly, I say to you, the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times.” (John 13:37)
Undeterred, a short while later Peter confidently asserted: “Even if everyone else abandons you, I never will.” (Matt 26:33 GW)
But he did.

How much is my security found in being part of a movement, surrounded by the company of like-minded people?
How much of my security is really found in Christ?

I pondered this question again when I was asked recently  to share a short testimony last Lord’s day, Easter Sunday.
Because, in recent years I faced a new challenge relating to this question.
So, I thought I would share what I said last Sunday with you here.

Testimony

Good morning. My name is Ken Stebbins.
I have been asked to share with you my own testimony of faith in Christ.

I grew up in a Christian home and, as a young child, always believed there is a God.
I grew up going to church with my family. Most people did go to church back then; I am talking about back in the 50s and 60s. Back in that era, most people had some sort of church affiliation, even if some of those only attended occasionally.
But for many, even among those that regularly attended church, it was often a mere formality, and I don’t remember hearing much gospel preaching in the church our family attended.

Nonetheless, I joined the church as a member when I was about 12 or 13, which I think was about the age when you were allowed to join.
But I don’t believe I had a genuine faith in Christ at that time. In fact, I remember in my early teens, regularly crying out to God with tears in prayer for Him to show me if He was real and really there.

But about the time I was in my last year of High School, the Lord worked in my heart and I came to believe genuinely that God is really there, and that I really was a sinner who needed to be forgiven.
A verse that helped me at this time was in the Bible, 1 Tim 1:15, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” Suddenly I knew that meant me, because I knew I was a sinner – so Christ came to save me. I found forgiveness through faith in Jesus Christ.

I then began to look for a church that took God’s Word seriously and once I found one, I became a member there.

Over the years I have had lots of ups and downs in my faith. Let me just share two things I have found.

First, I have discovered I am a far greater sinner than I thought when I was in my mid teens.
Not only do I see sin as far more serious now and a far greater afront to a holy God, but with every year – every day, every moment – I become aware that my sins continue to accumulate. Which means that those words: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”, become ever more precious.

If ever I wondered, when I was younger, that the work of Christ on the cross just needed to make up for where I was a bit short on my own righteousness, I have no such illusion now. Now, my only hope – all my hope – is in Christ and in the cross alone.
Which is why this day is so special – as indeed is each Lord’s day, since on the first day of the week, every week, we celebrate the resurrection of Christ .

The second thing I discovered was when I left the church that I referred to before, when I was looking for one after I had come to faith in Christ.

A few years ago, circumstances meant I felt I needed to leave even the local church, as well as the denomination itself, that I had been part of for most of my life: I had been a leader in the denomination for 50 years, and a member of the current local church for 30. Needless to say, to leave was a huge wrench.
Where would we go?

To add to the difficulty, just after we left, Covid hit and as often as not you weren’t even allowed to attend public gatherings in a church, for most of two years. Also, during this time, we got locked down in Sydney for 6 months and weren’t allowed to return home – which made finding a church to worship in back home impossible.
All of this left us feeling very high and dry spiritually.

But what I came to realise was that the comfort of my faith was much weaker than I thought. I think, gradually over those 50 years, much of what I thought was the comfort of faith, was in fact far more earthly: a lot of it was simply the comfort of belonging to a group of people in a church.
Don’t get me wrong: I think it is really important that every Christian belong to a faithful, Bible believing, company of God’s people in a local church. We are happy that we belong to the church here.
But the strength of comfort that, quite legitimately, comes from belonging to such a group can easily be mistaken for the strength of one’s faith.
I think, our time in the wilderness over that two year period brought home to me how much I was trusting in belonging to a church, and conversely, the reality of how weak my faith in Christ was.

But God is faithful, and works all things together for good. Despite my own weak faith, because of God’s faithfulness, I can say: “His grace is sufficient for me, for His strength is made perfect in my weakness.”
Jesus doesn’t promise to keep me without faith, but He does promise to keep me in faith. “My sheep hear My voice,” He says, “and I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand.”

Let me conclude with this: “I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day” when, either Jesus comes again, or He takes me to be with Him.

Thank you, for listening.