For ten years of my life, after leaving school, I first trained, then worked, as a civil engineer.
“Engineers” are those “ingenious” (yes, it comes from the same root) persons that get “engines” to work.
And, when they don’t, it is always the engineer’s fault. As someone once quipped, “When we land a man on the moon it is another ‘Triumph for Science’; but if they can’t get back it is an ‘Engineering Disaster’.”

This puts a lot of pressure on engineers to come up with solutions to problems; there always has to be an answer. And this, in turn, contributes to the stereotype that engineers can be more solution-focused than people-focused.
And, of course, if the engineer is a male (who, as every wife knows, focuses on solutions more than people) the problem is even worse.

Despite these drawbacks, after ten years I entered the ministry.
I was soon faced with all the usual problems and tensions that go with the ministry. But, with each new challenge I faced, I knew there had to be a “solution”.
But I found it hard, if not impossible, to live with an unresolved problem.
Then I discovered I was not alone. Many others in the ministry (especially those starting out; but many older ones as well) endured similar angst.
And some of these weren’t even former engineers; even those less challenged were like this!

Living with Unresolved Angst

Angst like this can prove deadly; it can lead to all sorts of inappropriate responses such as I have referred to in a post elsewhere.
Now I am not advocating ignoring problems in the ministry.
Though a discerning pastor will choose to ignore many of the “problems” that arise and move on, there are still some that can’t be ignored and do need to be addressed. It is wisdom that can choose between the one or the other.

Nor is it only in pastoral matters that this issue arises.
In all our Christian lives we have to be able to choose between what difficulties we need to resolve; and which ones we can live with and move on without the need to prove our point.
But even when it comes to difficulties that do need to be resolved, we need to learn that we may have to wait for the solution; and wait in peace, not fear.

We need to be realistic: There will always be some unresolved difficulties in our lives that give rise to angst.
We will never, in this life, have no unresolved problems we are facing. (Or, if we do, it won’t be for long.)
We will never have all our ducks in a row.

So, it is important as Christians that we learn to live in this “already-but-not-yet” world, and not be consumed by the “unfairness” of life here upon earth.
“Perfect” doesn’t belong to this world; “perfect” waits for heaven.

In the meantime, we need to learn to rejoice in the blessings of the day, while living realistically with unresolved, ongoing problems in life. I have had to learn this (and am still learning) as much as any.
But, if you are like me, the unresolved problems of this “already-but-not-yet” world so easily blot out the memory of the blessings.
And then angst swallows up the rest of life.

Paul encapsulates what our approach should be in a few words, in 2 Cor 6:10, “…as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.”

“In all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in sleeplessness, in fastings… as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.”

Not long ago this was brought home to me, all on the same day. A significant relationship fell apart, which left me devastated. But, within a few hours, we saw an answer to an unrelated matter we had been praying about for months.
The temptation was there (as always) to be overwhelmed by the disaster, and to ignore the remarkable answer to prayer.
By God’s grace, we didn’t. Eileen and I realistically faced up to and prayed about the trouble; while at the same time rejoiced and gave thanks for the long-awaited answer to prayer.

It helped that, recently, we had been using a book our daughter, Julie, had given us called Tumbling Sky: Psalm Devotions for Weary Souls.
It is by Matt Searles, who has written compositions based on the Psalms, particularly those Psalms that arise out of struggles in the soul.  Some of his compositions can be heard here on Youtube.

Tumbling Sky: Psalm Devotions for Weary Souls

Tumbling Sky: Psalm Devotions for Weary Souls is the name of his latest album: you can hear something of the story behind this album here.

Matt Searles seeks to address the “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” issue. He says:

It’s so important to hold these two together and not let one cancel the other out.
If our joys are such that they cannot cope with any sorrow, then they will be very fragile, liable to disappear at any moment.
If our sorrows are ones that can admit of no accompanying joy, then we will be led to despair.
But Scripture teaches that sorrows and joys coexist, that we should expect to be sorrowful yet always rejoicing. So our joys will be weighty and not trivial, and our sorrows – though still very weighty – will not be without hope.

With this in mind he wrote Tumbling Sky. He notes:

Often we feel we have to choose between sorrow and joy; it is one or the other. And therefore because Christ has come, because our sins are forgiven, because we’re going to heaven, we should rejoice, and we think there can’t be any place for sorrow in the Christian life.
So Tumbling Sky was written out of a desire to give permission for tears, to remind us that sorrow isn’t a sign of spiritual failure, that brokenness isn’t a denial of the gospel.

One of his compositions in Tumbling Sky is based on the words of Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

These words spoke of the reality of pain and suffering, and didn’t try to minimise them. There was no whitewashing of how hard life can be in this broken world. Nor were there false promises of greater intimacy with God and usefulness in his service whilst suffering. For a long time, I struggled to read the Bible, and my health meant I had to stop pastoring a church of people I dearly loved. No short-term gains here. Just a God with an increasingly hidden face.
This is why this verse is so important. God doesn’t say, ‘Come back when you can see things clearly again,’ or treat us like the child who is told to clean themselves up before coming to the dinner table. God says, ‘Weeping is right.’ But he also says, ‘There is hope.’ Rejoicing comes in the morning…
As Christians, the hope we have in Christ gives us the safe place we need in which we can affirm not just the pain, but also the wrongness of suffering – that this is not how things should be. Scripture never trivialises pain or sorrow. David wept. Faithful Christians through the ages have wept. And of course, Jesus wept. Blessed are those who weep, we might say, for they are in good company.

He adds:

Some people look for balance in this life. ‘When God shuts a door, he opens a window’. This might sound like a nice statement, but it has no scriptural basis. For every person for whom tragedy leads to a life travelling the world to speak of Christ (and we rightly rejoice in these stories) there are others for whom tragedy means they never leave their room again, never speak again.We know that God is working in all things for our good (Rom. 8:28). But we often don’t see that. Sorrows are never meaningless, but their meaning may not be fully known until we stand in glory with our Saviour.
The Christian life shouldn’t make sense without the future (1 Cor. 15:19). This life is full of joys, but also sorrows. But there is a future hope, and oh, what a glorious hope! What bliss awaits! How fair shall be the light of that morning when we see our Saviour’s face!
Let the joys of this life point you to their truer and more real counterparts in the new creation. And let the sorrows of this life orientate you to the future when God himself will wipe away every tear. Pray that seasons of trial now might root us more deeply in the rest to come. Joy comes in the morning, and what weight of joy that will be!

Five Applications

Matt Searles acknowledges the help he received from a sermon by John Piper on 2 Cor 6:10, in which Piper sums up his thoughts as follows:

1) If you experience this paradox of emotions (sorrowful yet always rejoicing) you will never have to pretend. Your sorrow will be real. And your joy will be real. You won’t ever have to be ashamed of saying, “I am very sad,” because it will not contradict, “I am very glad.”

2) If you experience this paradox of emotions (sorrowful, yet always rejoicing), you will be able to bear the weight of sorrow that is inevitable in a world of so much sin and brokenness. The joy you know, in the very moment of heavy sorrow, will keep that sorrow from crushing you. It doesn’t make your sorrow less weighty. But it does make your sorrow less destructive.

3) If you experience this paradox of emotions (sorrowful, yet always rejoicing), your sorrow will not ruin the joy of others, and your joy will not offend the sorrow of others. Your joy will be deep with its roots in the springs of God’s grace – the very same grace that sorrowing souls need. And your sorrow will not be morose or gloomy or self-pitying. It will have real love in it that cares for the good of others, and will not ruin anyone’s party.

4) If you experience this paradox of emotions (sorrowful, yet always rejoicing), the ministries of your church – from the worship service, to the youth group, to the ministry of disability – will be free from silliness and trifling, and will have the aroma of Christ, with his wonderful paradoxes. The aroma of Christ who wept over Jerusalem: “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes” (Luke 19:41-42). Yet who “rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, ‘I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children’” (Luke 10:21). He wept and he rejoiced over the same city in the same condition. The spirit that will pervade your church will be a joyful seriousness, and a serious joyfulness.

5) If you experience this paradox of emotions (sorrowful, yet always rejoicing), the beauty and worth of Christ will always be exalted – because you are always rejoicing in him (and he is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him) – and the ugliness of sin and all its effects will be shown for what they are – because your glad and healthy heart is made sorrowful by it.