A Tale of Two Sinners


One hundred and twenty people were gathered together in the upper room.
They could have been discouraged.

Less than two months before, Jesus had ridden into Jerusalem in triumph, to the shouts and adulation of an adoring crowd.
Then – disaster!
Jesus had been arrested and convicted as a common criminal.
The crowd that had only recently worshipped Him, now cried out for the death penalty.
Jesus had been publicly humiliated. Then executed.
Just six weeks ago.

Yes, Jesus had since ascended into heaven.
But they were still leaderless – now, when they needed Him most.
To add to the pain and shame of it all, Jesus had been betrayed by one of their own.
The thirteen leaders were now down to eleven.
And a third member of their group had brought shame upon them all by denying Jesus – not once, but three times.
They could have been greatly discouraged.

But then, Peter stood up in their midst…” (Acts 1:15)
He doesn’t try and sanitize what had happened, including the gory details of Judas’s (the betrayer’s) ugly death.
“But,” he goes on, “that’s in the past. Now we just have to get on with it.”
He proposes that they find a replacement for Judas.

They’re two down; they could be discouraged.
But here is one who gets up and encourages them to get on with it.

But hang on – this is Peter!

Peter and Judas

Peter! He had denied Jesus.
What Judas had done was horrible: it was pre-meditated and self-serving.
I am sure what Peter did wasn’t pre-meditated; thinking ahead was not one of Peter’s strong points.
But, it was repeated; it was horrible.

But it is this Peter, the horrible sinner, who now takes a lead.
He is encouraging this motley band of men and women to take the next step.

Peter! Judas!
That day, Peter stood before them, in an honourable position, to lead them.
Judas lay beneath them, suffering the eternal torments of hell.

Why the difference?
It can all be summed up in one word:

Grace!

Grace is the mercy God shows to sinners who do not deserve it.
Judas did not deserve God’s mercy.
Peter did not deserve God’s mercy.

You and I do not deserve God’s mercy.
I do not deserve God’s mercy when I betray Christ; or, when I deny Christ.
I betray Christ whenever I make a decision based upon how much money it will get me – or how much pleasure, or popularity, or promotion – without thinking about whether it actually honours God or not.
I deny Christ whenever I shrink from owning God and His truth before a hostile world that is intent on bringing God down.

But the Bible says, Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more.” (Rom 5:20)
And God has already shown each one of us grace.

Grace before sin

At the Last Supper, Jesus warned both Judas and Peter of the peril they faced – and, in each case, in a touching way.

…Judas

Jesus warned Judas: “Woe to that man by whom I am betrayed!”
Judas is there; he hears Jesus’ words.
He knows who Jesus is talking about. He knows it is “woe” if he goes ahead with his plan.
That is grace.

It is grace when you read the Bible, and you hear the voice of God warning you of the “woe” that awaits you if you go ahead with the sin you have been planning.
You don’t deserve to get a warning.
That is grace.

Even then, Jesus wasn’t finished warning Judas.
He who dipped his hand with Me in the dish will betray Me.”
“The one who has sat at My table, we shared our food together…”
You cannot help but think of David’s words, in Psalm 55:

It is not an enemy who reproaches me;
Then I could bear it.
Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me;
Then I could hide from him.
But it was you: a man, my equal, my companion and my acquaintance.

That is grace.
Grace warns of sin.

…Peter

Jesus warned Peter too: “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.”
I would like to think that would be enough to stop me in my tracks.
But Jesus also added this encouragement: “But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail. And when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”
If I were Peter, I like to think I would then be doubly on my guard.

But Peter was never one to receive (even implied) criticism well.
Instead, he blurts out: “Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death.”
Still Jesus won’t let him go: “I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me.”

The warnings you read of, that God speaks to you in His Word – they are grace!
Don’t shut your ears to that grace – as Peter did.
Don’t despise that grace – as Judas did… and fell into disgrace.

Grace in sin

Even in their sin, Jesus met each of them with grace.
He was still giving them a chance to repent before it was too late.

…Judas

In the dark, Judas identifies Jesus with a kiss.
Jesus responds:  “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

  • “Judas”: He calls him by his name.
  • “betray”: He calls the monstrous crime for what it was.
  • “the Son of Man”: He reminds Judas he is betraying Israel’s Messiah
  • “with a kiss”: “…it was you: a man, my equal, my companion and my acquaintance.”

Jesus looks Judas in the eye and gives him one last chance to repent.
But, whatever Judas felt at the time, for him, there was no turning back.
He was determined to carry through his sin.

…Peter

Satan did “sift Peter as wheat”.
To save his skin Peter denied he even knew Jesus – not once, but three times.
Peter deliberately denied Jesus.

But Jesus met him with grace: “The Lord turned and looked at Peter…”
The Lord is being ushered from one kangaroo court to the next. They’re determined to convict Him anyway; then execute Him – after He has been harangued, insulted, spat upon, beaten and tortured.
Yet, in the midst of it all, the Lord takes time to turn and, as with Judas, to look Peter in the eye.

That was all it took. Just a look.

Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.”
So Peter went out and wept bitterly.

Immediately Peter is brought low in repentance.
Unlike Judas, Peter is brought to immediate repentance.

Grace following sin

Two sinners, facing condemnation and the consequences of their sin.

Peter found grace following his sin.
Or, rather, grace found Peter.

But not Judas…

…not Judas

Judas also wept – or, appears to have.
Certainly, he cried out.
The enormity of his sin overwhelms him.
When Judas, who had betrayed Jesus, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse…” He is horrified.
“What can I  do? Where can I go to try and undo what I have done?”

He goes to the religious leaders.
“Judas brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, ‘I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.’”
He confesses his sin. He brings back the money.
He is trying to undo his misdeed.
He is doing everything he can to make right what he has done wrong.

What do the religious leaders (these who are there to help sinners in their struggles) tell him?
“What is that to us? You see to it!”

In the end, that is the best that religion without Christ can do.
“You work it out. We can’t help you. You have to save yourself.”
Judas does – or, at least, he tries.

What Judas did, as far as he went, was good.
It is good that:
– he felt bad about it
“he was seized with remorse…”
– he wanted nothing to do with his ill-gotten gains
– he went to his co-conspirators and confessed his sin
– he thereby confronted them with their own sin…
It was all good.

But it was not good enough.
It never is.

Not the labours of my hands can fulfil thy law’s commands;
Could my zeal no respite know, could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone…

“…and he went out and hanged himself.”
Then, falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his entrails gushed out.”

With that, the Bible says: “he went to his own place”.

Grace never found Judas in the end.
He was left to himself.
And this is how it all ended.

…Peter

How different it was for Peter.
Like Judas, grace found Peter before he sinned, and warned him to beware.
Like Judas, grace found him as he sinned, and looked him in the eye.
But, unlike Judas, grace found Peter again after he sinned.

Jesus found Peter (Luke 24:34, 1 Cor 15:5).
He especially sought him out on his own within hours of rising from the dead.
Grace found Peter.
Don’t know what they talked about.
But I’m pretty sure Peter has already repented, from the time he “went out and wept bitterly”
So I would also be pretty sure that Jesus appeared to reassure him that he was forgiven.

But what about restoration to office?
A person may be forgiven personally. But that doesn’t mean he should be allowed to take up office again – especially the highest office of all: that of apostle.

But grace appeared again to Peter, when Jesus met him on the shores of Galilee, not long before Jesus ascended into heaven.
There Jesus confronted Peter.
Again, He looked him in the eye.
Three times, He asked: “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”
Three times Peter was made to deny his denial: “Lord; You know that I love You.”
Three times, Jesus restored him to office: “Feed My sheep.”

Grace found Peter. Peter repented.
Grace forgave his sin.
Grace restored Peter to his office.

Grace and You

Why did grace find Peter, and not Judas?
Some would say, “Because Judas’ sin was so bad.”
But we can’t say that – because grace, God’s grace, can forgive the worst of sinners: Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more.”

Paul knew this from personal experience: “The grace of our Lord abounded exceedingly to me… For Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.”
If grace can forgive the chief of sinners, grace can forgive even you and me.
Yes, even someone as wicked as Judas.

Judas is a tragedy.
We don’t know when exactly Judas went out and hanged himself.
But most likely, by the time he did so, Jesus had already died – already died for sinners!
Judas could’ve shared in the forgiveness Jesus gives – and this day be in heaven.
But, he chose instead to do the best he could – and is this day in hell.

In our Confession of Faith we profess:

Grace gave Judas every opportunity to repent.
But Judas resisted God’s grace every time.
Grace never found Judas again.

Peter, on the other hand, responded to God’s grace.
He repented of his sin.
He discovered that, although “there is no sin so small but it deserves damnation”, yet “there is no sin so great that it can bring damnation upon those who truly repent.”

What about you?
Judas, Peter

because we are all
betrayers, taking
silver and eating
body and blood and asking
(guilty) is it I and hearing
him say yes
it would be simple for us all
to rush out
and hang ourselves

but if we find grace
to cry and wait
after the voice of morning
has crowed in our ears
clearly enough
to break our hearts
he will be there
to ask us each again
do you love me
                          – Luci Shaw